Wow, for a second there I was sitting on the couch unsatisfyingly pinning things (Pinterest was so hugely satisfying for me until like, a week ago, and suddenly that changed for no identifiable reason, and now there's a void to fill) and thinking "God I need to vent. If only I had an appropriate outlet for that" and then I was like "Oh, Livejournal probably still exists."
So my mind is like a broken record these days. It's getting annoying. All I think about is "Holy shit I need to get a new job." What's really triggered this is that I moved recently, total upgrade in apartment but further away from work. So I'm commuting like an hour fifteen minutes. To my restaurant job. So yeah, what always follows is this circular train of thought:
"What am I going to do? Option 1
: Get a new restaurant job in Denver. Could work, but who knows if I could even get a job and if I do I'm starting at the bottom and who knows how long till I'm making money enough to pay my bills. Who knows if I'm working more than I want to (like I am at Jay's). Who knows if the staff are a bunch of bitch-ass dick faces (like they were at Earl's). Could be a miserable waste of time and energy and at its very best will be yet another restaurant job. Option 2
: Try to get a job in a different field. Sounds good. But I'm so unqualified. All I have is a Bachelor's degree in English and a million years of experience working in a restaurant. I'm even underqualified for unpaid internships. How do people do this again? Shouldn't "How to Get a Fucking Job" have been a class in college? Option 3
: Give it a shot freelance copywriting (I've been writing for Textbroker lately but the money is, uh, not good. Thinking about applying at some other sites) and working on my Etsy store full time. But...don't know how I'll make the money I need. Sounds good to try but only if I had a fund to fall back on. How do I get money and still work on my projects? Well...work at Jay's. If only they would stop scheduling me so fucking much I would have time to work on my projects. They just hired some girls...maybe at some point they'll stop scheduling me so fucking much. Guess I'll just wait it out." And then after an annoying/bad/long/any shift I'm like "Holy shit I need to get a new job" and the fun starts all over again!
So yeah, I have had no luck whatsoever with my Etsy store. Open since October, I have had a total of 3 sales and they have all been to family and friends. I was not getting discouraged. I was gonna just keep trying, and sewing, and listing, and I have been, with no success. Yesterday I listed my very favorite work I've done to date on my store, and also posted it to Facebook, which I've never done. I didn't even announce my shop opening on my Facebook because I wasn't very confident in it and am terrified of criticism. But I loved this damn pillow cover that I made and I posted it to Facebook expecting to get a few likes and a few encouraging comments.
Um, fast forward to tonight and...nothing. Like I mean the only person who even acknowledged my status was my fiance, and I'm pretty sure he's legally required to. And I know I sound like an idiot who's annoyingly emotionally invested in Facebook and needs Likes to feel accepted and hey, yeah I guess I am but I just posted my work with total confidence and got crickets. I know that the fact that nobody said anything on my status doesn't actually mean that everybody hates me and thinks my work is ugly, but it's hard not to feel that way when I have had so little success at this and at least thought I might get a fucking Facebook thumbs up.
So anyone who is reading this and feels like doing me a huge personal favor despite the negligent friend I've been, I'd absolutely love it if you'd go to www.etsy.com/shop/KatForhanDesigns and just give me a little completely honest feedback. Whether my pictures suck, my pricing is wrong, my banner is too kitschy, or just that you think my work looks sloppy or ugly or I'm colorblind or whatever, I'd really honestly love to hear it. I've discovered it's pretty hard to be objective about your own work and thus I feel like I have no idea what people see when they look at my shop.
So anyway, I've been up since 4am and I'm pretty sure my brain just officially shut down, so I think it's time to stop trying to make words. Goodnight and love you, seriously.